KIM AND KANYE appear on this month’s cover of Harper’s Bazaar.

Naturally, their photoshoot was accompanied by a truly bonkers interview. Here are some of the wildest parts.

Kim and Kanye love each other’s hearts

When asked what each other’s favourite body part was, both replied with heart. “My favourite body part of Kim’s: heart,” said Kanye. “I have to say his heart,” Kim agreed.

But Kim also loves her “upper stomach”

I just seem to always have abs.

The ultimate humblebrag.

They threw even more shade at Taylor Swift

Just when you thought there was no more shade to be thrown, Kim and Kanye find some more to sling. When asked what their favourite Taylor Swift song was, Kanye replied, “For me? I don’t have one.” Meanwhile Kim wistfully remarked, “I was such a fan of hers.”

Damn.

Kanye West used to fancy Pamela Anderson

Something he and George Hook have in common, so.

As for what historical figures the couple identify with?

Easy.

Us? Muhammad Ali, Marilyn Monroe—all day. Next question.

Kim had a psychotic response to the question, “Hidden talent?”

No, she isn’t double jointed or able to whistle through her ears. Kim’s hidden talent is being able to smell when your teeth are literally rotting in your head.

I can smell when someone has a cavity. It’s a very specific smell—not a bad-breath smell—but something that is really strong.

They’re like Eddie Hobbs when it comes to doling out financial advice

During the conversation, they were asked about insecurities when the subject of debt came up.

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“It seemed to all figure it out.” Huh.

Lesson? If you just say “I have debt,” out loud, click your heels and spin around three times, you will no longer have debt!

Kanye is always mortifying Kim by falling asleep in the middle of meetings

Kanye West is pretty much your auld lad when it comes to just nodding off anywhere. Even in the middle of very important meetings.

He took me to a fashion meeting in Paris once.

And he passed out at the table. I’m like, “I’m so sorry, we’re jet-lagged.” You don’t know the number of times I’ve had to say that. I always flat-out lie that he’s jet-lagged, even if we’ve been home for months. 

True love.

Kanye West thinks Kim’s selfies are like art

In fact, he believes that it would be cruel for her not to share her nude form with us.

I just love seeing her naked; I love nudity. And I love beautiful shapes. I feel like it’s almost a Renaissance thing, a painting, a modern version of a painting. I think it’s important for Kim to have her figure. To not show it would be like Adele not singing.

Gals, get you a man who thinks you’re as stunning as Adele’s voice.

In fairness, Kanye did display a stunning level of self-awareness at one point

After Kim casually mentioned that she had rented a private island for his birthday (relatable!), Kanye remarked, “You see, those are the type of statements that make people not like us, more so than the ‘I’m the best’ statement.”

You know in Meet the Parents, Owen Wilson’s character? All of our s**t is like Owen Wilson’s character.

But then he ruined it all by having the most juvenile answer to what would do if he was invisible

Women’s locker room.

Ooh, to see boobs, is it? Right, Kanye.

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The best answer of all, though? When asked what he would bring to a desert island, Yeezy replied…

I would bring my laptop and the Internet.

The internet! That’s like saying you’d wish for more wishes, Kanye! It goes against everything the concept of being stranded on a remote location stands for. “Oh, I’d bring an invention that ensured I wasn’t cut off from all my things.”

Nice try, Kanye.

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